COMMENTARY: Sage Advice

Here is some additional sage advice I've been given over the years. I find that as I try to live life and remember everything I'm supposed to do, pithy phrases and quotations stick well and are easy to recall when necessary:

1. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.
2. When all else fails, take a deep, cleansing breath.
3. Always work hard, no matter what the job. Nothing gives you a better reference than a good work ethic.
4. If you treat a person like they are the person they ought to be, they will eventually become a person who deserves to be treated that way.
5. People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.
6. You can have everything in life you want if you'll just help enough other people to get what they want.
7. In marriage, give 100 percent. If you give 100 percent and your spouse gives 100 percent, you'll have a good one. If you both only give 50 percent, it won't be enough to last.
8. Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
9. True victory is not about finishing first; it is about finishing regardless of how many times you fall.
10. There is no failure except in no longer trying.
11. If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.
12. Watch a sunrise every now and again. It is good for your soul.
13. Remember people's birthdays.
14. Have a firm handshake.
15. Write thank you notes.
16. When someone is relating an important event that's happened to them, don't try to top them with a story of your own. Let them have the stage.
17. Let your children overhear you saying complimentary things about them to other adults.
18. Smile when you answer the phone.

BOOK REVIEW: "How the Dead Dream"

How the Dead Dream
By Lydia Millet
Copyright 2008
Counter Point Press
Adult Fiction
2 Bookmarks

Let me just say first that “How the Dead Dream” is quite possibly one of the most bizarre books I’ve ever read. And let me say secondly, that I absolutely HATED the ending. This is one of those books that you don’t really know how the story ends…you are left hanging and have to make an assumption of what happens…which is a HUGE frustration to me.

So that being said, let me tell you about the good stuff. You start out in this book by learning about T., a young boy who has an obsession with money. Well, obsession is really putting it mildly. He extorts money from his classmates, earns money through surreptitious means whenever possible, and he even goes through a period of time where he carries coins in his mouth because he wants to really “feel” the money. The description of T.’s childhood is incredible. He is an odd character, to say the least, but the author’s ability to make you understand his oddities is magical. The author is so matter-of-fact about T.’s weirdness that you almost begin to see it as normal.

The book travels through T.’s childhood and then adulthood, until he becomes the caretaker for his ailing mother. The mother is another interesting character. My favorite part about her is when she dreams that she dies and (instead of going to heaven or hell) she is trapped in a Waffle House. To her, it is the most horrible horror of horrors to think that when she dies she will spend eternity in a Waffle House (I’m sure most of us can relate to that). This is the beginning of many life-changing events for T. The story turns in a whole new direction and starts to focus on T.'s newfound obsession with "last" animals (species who are facing extinction); which is pleasantly ironic because of T.'s chosen career as a real estate developer. Like I said, the story turns.

I did enjoy reading this book and would have given it a higher mark if it wasn’t for the way the story ended. If you don’t mind having to use your imagination a little bit to get some closure at the end, though, I would recommend this one just for the sheer ability of the author to make you see things so vastly differently than the way they actually are (not to mention the fact that the book has an interesting name and an intriguing cover...)

BOOK REVIEW: "The Extraordinary Mrs. R: a Friend Remembers Eleanor Roosevelt"

The Extraordinary Mrs. R: a Friend Remembers Eleanor Roosevelt
By William Turner Levy and Cynthia Eagle Russett
Copyright 1999
John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Publishers
Biographical
¼ Bookmark

What an extraordinary waste of a tree! I have never read anything so laced with syrupy-sweet sentimentality and obsession.

Author William Turner Levy (who, by the way, always refers to himself in the third person by his FULL name) is apparently a rather huge fan of the Roosevelt clan. He miraculously finagles an introduction to the former first lady Eleanor Roosevelt and amazingly becomes her “friend”.

This book is an exercise in remembering details for Mr. Levy. He talks about each meeting he had with Mrs. Roosevelt, describing in extraordinary detail what the leading lady was wearing, what she was eating, what she said, what she did, how she smiled, how she laughed, how the sheets felt, and so on and so on. “YAWWWWNNN!”

There were a few redeeming moments in the book (thus the ¼ star given), such as when Mr. Levy tells of the picnics Mrs. R gave for the local boy’s home each summer. You almost got to liking Mrs. Roosevelt after that little bit of information.

But the rest of the book was really just a rampant run-on sentence describing a woman who is obviously being stalked by Mr. Levy.

Do you remember the guy on U-Tube after the whole Britney Spears debacle? “Leave Britney Alone! Leave Britney Alone!” That is who Mr. Levy reminded me of frequently as I was reading his interpretation of Mrs. Roosevelt’s private life.

So, obviously, I would not recommend this book to anyone.....ever.

BOOK REVIEW: "Walden"

Walden
By Henry David Thoreau
Copyright 2007
Literary Classics Publishing
Classic Literature
5 Bookmarks

I’ve often made attempts to read “the classics”. I failed miserably at my encounter with Paradise Lost. I made it through Dante’s Inferno, only to be halted in my tracks by his Purgatorio. I do have a love for the Iliad by Homer (mostly due to high school AP English—thanks Mrs. Brown!), but I struggled mightily when trying to get through its sequel, the Odyssey.

So I decided to move forward in time several hundred years and see if I could find something a little more my speed. What I found was Walden, by Henry David Thoreau. And I’m so glad I did! What a treat it was to read this book.

Walden is a memoir, of sorts, of a time in Thoreau’s life when he decides that people are too caught up with the “things” of life and believes that they have forgotten what it really means to live. He moves himself to a small plot of land on the banks of Walden Pond with basically nothing but the shirt on his back. He scrounges wood enough to build a small shack, which he improves periodically as opportunities allow. He eats of the berries around him, the fish in the pond, and whatever else makes itself available to him.

But this book isn’t really about how to live on nothing in the wild. Instead, it is a book about opening your eyes to really see the world around you and to find your place within. Thoreau writes, “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” That line really struck a chord for me. Anyone who knows me would tell you that I frequently get sucked into the stress of work and home and family and responsibility, and that I forget that the world is good and that I am grateful to be alive. But I am grateful to be alive! And this book was a reminder of that.

Walden is almost a series of essays about a series of philosophical standpoints on a myriad of topics. But it is also lighthearted at times, and soothing to the soul.

One of my favorite parts of the book was when Thoreau was describing a battle between a legion of black ants and troops of red ants on his woodpile. He describes the battle as though it was being fought by human soldiers in the field. And while it is a little gory at moments, it really brings to the forefront the idea that even the little things in life are meaningful to those concerned.

Thoreau lived at the pond for four years and records the observations of his social experiment in an effortless and thought-provoking manner.

I really enjoyed reading this book and would recommend it to anyone looking for a stimulating read. I definitely plan to add it to my collection!

BOOK REVIEW: "Remind Me Again Why I Married You"

Remind Me Again Why I Married You
By Rita Ciresi
Bantam Dell/Random House Publishers
Copyright 2003
Adult Fiction
4 Bookmarks

A funny title for a funny book. Lisa Strauss thinks she’s a writer, although she must pretend to be a suitable corporate wife for her husband’s business associates. Lisa struggles to come up with interesting writing material since her world consists mainly of cooking, cleaning and other stay-at-home-mom duties. Soon Lisa turns to Eben, her husband of five years, and begins to write detail after thinly-veiled detail and weaves a tale that eventually becomes the book Lisa had always wanted to write.

Lisa wants so much from life, but feels trapped in a moment, a moment where she must be mother, supporting wife, cook, housekeeper and more. Lisa hides in her writings and draws a portrait of her fears with words. She lives and breathes, like any normal woman would, and like many of us, she wants more out of life than what she has.

Ciresi’s writing style is witty and lively. The description of the character’s mundane life made me laugh on numerous occasions. I could easily compare certain moments in the book to things I’ve experienced in my own life, and it made it very easy to relate to the character.

In the end though, Lisa finds happiness in her existence and with her family, and even finds some success with her passion for words.

A good read.

COMMENTARY: What Makes a Good Book "Good"?

So I have a question. What makes a good book “good”? I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately (what with all the spare time I have on my hands these days). And I’ve asked a few people what they think. My 7-year-old daughter thinks that the most important feature of a good book is that it has interesting pictures. She also doesn’t like a book to be boring and wants an exciting story to read. My husband also thinks a book needs to be exciting and have a minimal amount of dialogue. Nothing would bore him to tears faster than the emotional lumberings of an author like Jane Austen (who, by the way, is one of my favorites).

Well, that makes sense for them, I suppose. But why is it that sometimes the most plot-deprived stories are the best books I’ve ever read, and that some of the most exciting storylines are just not that enjoyable to read? And I don’t really need pictures if the author is good at painting them for me with words.

So here is my list of the top six things that make a good book “good” to me:
1. Relatable Characters. I have to be able to relate to the people I’m reading about, at least at some level. I may be able to sympathize with them. I may hate them because they are so awful. Or I may fall in love. But I have to FEEL something about the characters or I just have no interest in reading the book.
2. Use of Language. I really don’t like books that are written at a 4th grade reading level, generally speaking. I want to be challenged by the words in a book. I want to twist my mind through detailed, expressive and complex sentences. If I have to re-read a sentence in a book to really understand it, I don’t look at that as a bad thing. One of the best authors at doing this is Ayn Rand (“Atlas Shrugged” and “The Fountainhead”—two of the best books I’ve ever read). “The Lord of the Rings” Trilogy was also an incredible read for that same reason (not to mention the fact that it was exciting…)
3. Unique Storyline. Nothing I hate more than having a little bit of déjà lu (that feeling that you’ve read this before) when it’s a book you haven’t actually read. That “same old, same old” story just doesn’t do it for me. I want to read about something new and interesting! Give me a character I’ve never seen, a plot that I’m impressed with, or a locale that I’m excited to learn more about. Give me something NEW!
4. How It Makes Me Feel. If I finish a book and I feel like I’ve been left hanging, or if the ending was uselessly sad or upsetting (the book doesn’t necessarily have to have a happy ending, but the ending needs to have some purpose), or if I feel like I’ve just wasted hours of my life on a stupid story, the book will not be on my favorites list. I want to feel good when I finish a book. I want to feel like I got something out of it, like I learned something, or just that it made me happy to have read it.
5. Does It Make Me Think? I will be glad I read any book that can make me think. If you tell me a story and it makes me question my own life, my own existence, you were successful. One of the best books for this was “Life of Pi” by Yann Martel. You read this absolutely incredible tale about a boy who was given a death sentence, which he somehow survives, only to make you question the very core of your own beliefs.
6. Good Title and Interesting Book Cover. So maybe it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things what the name of the book is or what the cover looks like, but if the title is boring, I'm not even going to pick it up. And if the cover is grotesque or disturbing or ordinary, it doesn't make me want to open up the pages to see more. Startle me with a provocative title and I'm much more prone to read you!

So what makes a good book “good” to you?

BOOK REVIEW: "Lady Luck's Map of Vegas"

Lady Luck’s Map of Vegas
By Barbara Samuel
Copyright 2005
Ballantine Book Publishers
Adult Fiction
5 Bookmarks

I just love a good road trip. Driving along, listening to my tunes, taking the time to stop and think. Something about it is just so healing. And healing is exactly what the main character in “Lady Luck’s Map of Vegas” really needs.

India is a 40-year-old single woman who is dealing with some interesting issues in life. And faced with what could be the biggest decision she’ll ever have to make, she and her mother head out on a road trip to find India’s twin sister, Gypsy, who has disappeared again. Gypsy is schizophrenic, and although she is a brilliant artist, she sometimes goes off her medication and disappears. India and her mother, Eldora, are worried, but they manage to make it down Route 66 and check out all the usual stops that Gypsy makes when she is wandering.

That is the basic “sum up” of the book, I suppose. But it doesn’t even begin to touch the surface of what this book is really about. “Lady Luck’s Map of Vegas” is about past mistakes. It’s about forgiveness. It’s about letting go of fear. It’s about accepting the things you cannot change. It’s about love and loss and living life.

This story touched me on so many levels. Not only is it set in two of my favorite cities (Colorado Springs and Las Vegas), but I feel like it was such an emotionally honest story about a family in crisis, a family that could easily be yours or mine. The characters were vividly written (and it didn’t hurt that there was an exquisitely attractive Irishman in the mix!) There are also moments in the book that are dark and terrible, and I appreciated that the book opened my eyes to the plight of families whose lives are affected by schizophrenia.

“Lady Luck’s Map of Vegas” is not the first book that I’ve read by Barbara Samuel, but it definitely won’t be the last. I highly recommend this one!

BOOK REVIEW: "Fishbowl"

Fishbowl
By Sarah Mlynowski
Copyright 2002
Worldwide Library/Red Dress Ink Publishers
Adult Fiction
4 Bookmarks

Meet Allie. Allie has just lost her two old roommates and is getting two new ones. Who knows if they will get along; if they will “mesh”. Allie is optimistic. But when she meets Emma and Jodine things get pretty crazy pretty quick. They end up burning down their kitchen just two weeks later and are faced with the daunting task of raising enough money to pay for the repairs (without letting their landlord know about it).

The book bounces from being told in the first person by Allie, then Emma, then Jodine, and even occasionally by the “unbiased narrator”, while twisting and dancing around the various neuroses and idiosyncrasies of the characters. A fingernail-chewing addiction competes with a cigarette-smoking addiction and workout obsession as the girls make their way through six months of life.

With love triangles, discussions of who would or would not look good with a tongue ring, and a boyfriend who has to pee ALL the time, there is never a shortage of interesting dialogue in this book. The writing is witty, entertaining and descriptive: “Allie kneads through this information, like fingers in a fresh jar of Play-Doh.”

I really liked this book. It was fresh and fun, without being indulgent or cliché. The characters were believable and relatable and I was sorry when the story ended. I would recommend this one and read it again myself!