BOOK REVIEW: "Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life"

"Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life"
By Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D.
Copyright 2006
Vintage Books
Non-Fiction
4 Bookmarks

I know I've been a slacker on the book-review front lately.  Busy life with work and family the last couple of months, but I have had the chance to read a couple of books in that time. 

My reading "theme" lately has been books that might help to improve my attitude.  Stress is just a killer for positivity, after all. 

I discovered this gem from a list of recommended reading in one of my other recent reads, How Children Succeed by Paul Tough, reviewed here. 

Sometimes I "may" have a bit of a negative attitude, and this book has a great way of explaining why.  According to the author, the way we explain things to ourselves has a profound impact on the way we view the world around us. 

"Self-talk", in other words, is sort of a self-fulfilling prophesy.  Seligman uses several examples of areas in our lives that are impacted profoundly simply by the way we talk to ourselves about them.

Everyone has a thinking style, but Seligman asserts that we all have the ability to change the way we internally explain the reasons behind the things we experience and, thus, change the way we think.

My opinion of the book was pretty good.  I felt like the author did a great job explaining "why" we think the way we do.  It was easy to apply it to my own internal "talk" and, of course, attitude.

Anyone who reads this book can take the quick optimism assessment and learn about their own thinking style.  The author then gives many tools for changing that thinking style into something more positive.

I actually got a lot out of the book and felt it was definitely worth the read.  The author goes to great lengths to help you see how the thinking styles can apply to many different areas of our lives: family, athletics, school, work, health, etc.

Lots of good info in this one. 

BOOK REVIEW: "How Children Succeed"

How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character
By Paul Tough
Copyright 2012
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing
Non-Fiction

4.5 Bookmarks

This one was recommended to me by a friend who happens to be a school teacher.  I was looking for some way to encourage my daughter to be a little more focused on the important things in life and she told me about this book.  Interestingly enough, the principal at my daughter's middle school also mentioned this book at Back to School Night, which was another good recommendation!

I started off with the expectation that I would find ways in this book to help my daughter be successful.  Instead, I found some fascinating information, based on case studies and real life examples of Paul Tough's main assertion, which is that success is based more on a child's character rather than their intelligence.  Skills, such as optimism, perseverance and "grit", are more likely to lead a child to success than just simply being smart.

Tough asserts that parents are more influential with these characteristics than anyone else.  Studies show that children who come from stressful backgrounds (abject poverty, divorce, chaotic homes) have altered brain chemistry that makes it more difficult for them to form and keep the character skills necessary to be most successful in life.

Schools are leaning on this research as they add more intensive character-development programs to their curriculum to give children additional support in developing these important characteristics.  But it really comes down to the parents.  Do you hug your child every day?  Does your child feel safe?  Does your child feel loved?

This book explained a lot of my own characteristics, but also helped me to see that the best ways to help my daughter be successful may not be by pushing her to study more, or work harder, or be more organized (as much as my OCD-self would LOVE for her to do those things!)  It comes down to making sure she has a safe environment, doesn't feel threatened, and has the security to be able to devote the portions of her brain necessary to develop good character.

How Children Succeed was a great book, but it had a few too many anecdotes and not quite enough "what to do about it" stuff.  With a little more "how to", it may have gotten 5 bookmarks.  But still, a very important read for anyone who has children or works with children.  Read this one!

BOOK REVIEW: "Organizing the Disorganized Child"

Organizing the Disorganized Child: Simple Strategies to Succeed in School
By Martin L. Kutscher & Marcella Moran
Copyright 2009
HarperCollins Publishing
Non-Fiction

3.5 Bookmarks

Stuck at home recovering from a cold has finally given me the opportunity to catch up a little on my writing.  I read this little ditty at the beginning of the school year for my now middle-schooler.  Love her dearly, but organization has not been her strong suit over the years.

While it had some great suggestions for standard organization, some of the ideas don't work with all children.  Getting an organized homework area set up is a great idea, but keeping it organized and usable is an entirely different story!  Setting up a single binder or notebook for each subject is a great idea, but when the student doesn't remember to write notes in the correct notebook, it sort of defeats the purpose.

One of the best suggestions in the book was to have an assignment calendar on the wall of the homework area so the student can keep track of upcoming assignments.  If only those assignments would write themselves on that calendar, though, because the child doesn't ever remember to do it.  

My favorite parts of the book were the "how to take a test" section and the "how to take notes" section.  With lots of great tips and practical information, these seemed like areas we could really improve on and utilize.  Wish I had known some of these strategies when I was in school! 

I do wish the book had had more guidance on teaching the value of organization, not necessarily just the basic "where to file papers" stuff.  So much of the book was just very basic and practical information. I was hoping for something a little more in-depth to really address the nitty-gritty problems associated with disorganization. 

BOOK REVIEW: "How to Win Friends and Influence People"

How to Win Friends and Influence People
By Dale Carnegie
Copyright 1936
Simon & Schuster
Non-Fiction
5 Bookmarks

I read this classic "how to be a better person" book once when I was in high school.  Somehow it just didn't have the same effect on me back then that it does today.  I could think of a dozen different ways I could use the ideas and suggestions in the book and apply them in my own life. 

As I was reading along, I couldn't believe how many of the bits of advice in this book still apply over 75 years after it was written.  The book is divided into four, easy to understand sections. 

Section One deals with "Fundamental Techniques in Handling People, and imparts advice to avoid criticizing other people, appreciate them, and arouse in them "an eager want."  There are a lot of great anecdotes throughout the book, but I appreciated them in this section because it was just getting started.  My favorite was the one about the mom would couldn't get her college student sons to respond to her letters, so the uncle wrote a letter to the boys and added a postscript that he was enclosing $5.  Only he didn't really enclose the $5.  I'm sure you can imagine what happened next.  Good chuckle. 

Section Two deals with "Six Ways to Make People Like You".  Some of the advice in this section was so simple, and yet I know I have not always followed this guidance.  Be interested, smile, remember names, listen, talk about other people's interests and help the other person feel important.  As I was reading this section I thought of numerous instances where I neglected to remember a name, or wanted to talk about something I was doing instead of listening.  Definitely some things we could all be doing better in here!

Section Three focuses on how to "Win People to Your Way of Thinking".  This section lists numerous suggestions, such as don't argue, show respect and admit when you are wrong, with some great ideas on how to avoid confrontation but still share your point of view.  This was my favorite section.  Here's a great quote: "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still."  A huge part of this section is spent on explaining how to get someone to see your side of things even if they don't want to, which is absolutely something I'd like to know a little more about!

The last section shares some proven guidance for "Being a Great Leader".  Begin with praise, ask questions, use encouragement, etc.  There were a lot of areas in this section of the book that I felt I could really apply to my relationship with my daughter.  Positive reinforcement being a much better tool than yelling and nagging, apparently. 

All in all, I'm really glad I read this book again and would absolutely recommend it to anyone who is looking to improve their relationships with family members, co-workers or clients.  So many great suggestions!

BOOK REVIEW: "The Leap"

The Leap: How 3 Simple Changes Can Propel Your Career from Good to Great
By Rick Smith
Copyright 2009
Penguin Group Publishing
Non-Fiction
3 Bookmarks

So I thought I might start the year by trying to give my career a little kick in the pants.  As you know, I work in real estate (shout out to ERA Shields Real Estate, woohoo!) and as I'm sure you also know, real estate has been mired in bad publicity and a bad economy for the past five years.  I wanted to try to get a better handle on sharing the positive side of real estate.  So I looked around for a few good books to help me do that.  The title of this one seemed promising so I picked it up.

I wasn't very far along into the book before I realized that this was just not quite what I was looking for.

The Leap is really more a collection of anecdotes about people who spend a lot of time doing what they HAVE TO do, and then magically find their passion and get to do what they WANT to do for the rest of their lives. 

The "3 Simple Changes" mentioned in the subtitle basically involve finding your passion, finding a big idea to promote your passion, and then executing the big idea.  Sounds simple enough, but the examples listed are so huge, it's overwhelming!  I didn't want a total change to my career, I just wanted to get better at what I'm already doing! 

So the positive things about the book: some of the stories are inspiring.  My favorite was about the gal that cut the feet off her pantyhose and invented Spanx (mostly because Spanx are easily one of the best inventions of the past 100 years--who knew a girl could look like that in a form-fitting dress after giving birth!)  Also, the shrimp fisherman who became the head of a research foundation after his son was diagnosed with a genetic illness.  That was pretty awesome. 

The Leap actually is a pretty good read, but was just a little too grand in scale for what I was really looking for.  Unfortunately, it just didn't seem all that practical, even though the author does try to really press the issue that these people didn't make these changes overnight.  For all of them, it was a process. 

So, this is a recommend if you're looking for some big changes in your life and want some inspiration to get there.  But not so much if you're more the baby-steps kind of person.

BOOK REVIEW: "The Tipping Point"

The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference

By Malcolm Gladwell

Copyright 2000

Little, Brown & Company Publishing

Non-Fiction

3.5 Bookmarks

As recommended by my fellow blogger and friend, Brian, I took a few days recently to read The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. I don't usually read very many non-fiction books, but this was a good use of my time.

The Tipping Point is a commentary on why people do many of the things they do. As in, why do certain social activities (or clothing styles or crimes) become trends. He calls them social epidemics.

Gladwell asserts that the way trends get started is a lot like a medical epidemic. Gladwell uses case after case of ideas that passed from one small group into a larger portion of the population. He argues that just a few people in society are the ones who get the most done. He calls these people Connectors, Mavens and Salesmen. Basically, the Connectors are those who know everybody. The Mavens are those who seem to know everything that is cool and new. And the Salesmen are the persuaders; those who are so charming and likeable that whatever they say, other people believe. These three groups of people are why social epidemics occur, according to Gladwell.

Gladwell has several different ideas about how these three groups of people work and also discusses other factors that affect the production of social epidemics.

This no-nonsense take on how big social changes happen was well-written and a quick read. I was able to take some of Gladwells ideas and see how applying them to my own career as a Realtor would be useful. For anyone interested in theorizing on why things happen, such as why criminals commit crimes, why a certain sneaker becomes THE thing for teens to wear, why pre-schoolers LOVE Blue's Clues, etc., this is a great book to help you in your search.

Although I'm pretty sure there is still no logic anywhere that can explain the whole "pants on the ground" epidemic that's still going on around us.