BOOk REVIEW: "The Tenderness of Wolves"

The Tenderness of Wolves
By Stef Penney
Simon & Schuster Publishing
Copyright 2006
Adult Fiction
4 Bookmarks

I like wolves. As far as animals go, they seem to be some of the more likeable creatures, in theory at least. Their packs are like families, all taking care of one another. They can be beautiful. And I read a book called Julie of the Wolves (by Jean Craighead George) when I was a child that lent them a romantic air, of sorts.

So when I saw the title of this book, The Tenderness of Wolves, I picked it up without even reading the summary.

The book starts out a little more gruesome than my usual fare, with a brutal murder in a small Canadian village. The neighbor who finds the body soon has more problems on her hands when she realizes her 17-year-old son has disappeared on the same day as the murder and is being considered a suspect. Mrs. Ross, who is in an unhappy marriage, believes in her son's innocence (although her husband doesn't seem to have any opinion at all). She knows she must find him, so she joins with another man, Mr. Parker, who had himself been considered a suspect in the crime. Together they head off tracking her son's trail to see what they can find.

The difficulties of their travels and the direness of their situation lends itself to the unthinkable happening as Mrs. Ross finds herself developing feelings for the wayward Mr. Parker. Throughout the book, Mrs. Ross recounts her past, the choices she's made, and the feelings she is experiencing now. She finally realizes that she is not the only one feeling the way she is feeling, although they never can say it out loud to each other.

Through finding her son, and another trail that may lead to the real murderer and clear her son's name, Mrs. Ross displays enormous amounts of bravery, a little stupidity, and a level of humanity that is hard to convey through words. The author does a great job of throwing in surprising twists and turns when you least expect it, leading the reader down one road and then another.

There is a moment in the final chapter of the book, entitled "The Sickness of Long Thinking", where Mrs. Ross realizes she must say goodbye to Mr. Parker and go back home to her husband, her son, her old life. She realizes that she will always thereafter live with The Sickness of Long Thinking, as she calls it; knowing she cannot be with the one who is her love, her lodestone, her true north. Instead, she forces herself to turn away.

I enjoyed the variety of characters, interesting storylines, backwoods adventures, and the sadness and joy related in this book. I didn't want to put it down. I would recommend this one.

MUSICAL MUSING: Snow Patrol

Snow Patrol

Of course anyone who knows me at all knows that my favorite band is Snow Patrol. If you've never heard of them, all I have to say is "WHAT?!???? Are you KIDDING me? Awesomest band EVER!!!!" (Okay, so perhaps I'm a little bit 16-year-old groupie-esque when I start talking about Snow Patrol). If you've never heard them, or think you've never heard them, click below:



Having grown up in a household where ONLY country music was allowed, once I became an adult my musical appetite (which had been starved for 18 years) was finally able to expand and develop. I've always liked an eclectic mix of pop, punk, grunge and alternative. Everything from The Cure to Nirvana to Paramore to The Postal Service....and now, Snow Patrol.

I know, I know. The lead singer has had a bit of relationship trouble over the years (thus the awesome plethora of break-up songs on the Final Straw album). Yeah, maybe I have a bit of a thing for Irish bands (U2 was my number one for years). And yeah, I will hesitatingly admit I fell in love with Snow Patrol watching that scene in Grey's Anatomy several years ago where Izzie is laying on the hospital bed with Denny's lifeless body after she killed him by cutting his LVAD wire (no, I don't know what an LVAD wire is....not that I really care). What I cared about at that moment was that an awesome song that I had never heard before, "Chasing Cars", played solemnly in the background as Izzie walked out the doors of the hospital, presumably forever (As it turned out, she ended up sticking around for a few more seasons before they sent her away with a brain tumor). A few moments later in that same episode with that same amazing song still playing ("If I lay here/If I just lay here/Would you lie with me and just forget the world...."), Meredith is faced by both Derek and Finn in a moment of sheer television genius....

Maybe I got a little off-track there.....sorry about that. Those TV dramas suck me in like that sometimes....... Ahh yes, where was I? Oh, music! That's what we're supposed to be talking about here. *Ahem.*

(I think I've admitted before that I "may" be a little obsessive.......)

So basically what I'm saying is that ever since that fantabulous moment in TV history, Snow Patrol has been my FAV-O-RITE band. I did get to see them live once (opened by The Plain White T's, another totally rocksome band); something I still count as one of my coolest-ever life moments.

So why is Snow Patrol my fav, you may be asking. Anyone can have a favorite band, and most people do. And it doesn't really mean that that band is truly THE best band ever (although I'm just certain you would understand why I say that about Snow Patrol if you are listening to them right now). To me, having a favorite simply indicates that the music created by that band (or musician) means something to that person.

You know, for me it's really a combination of things. For one, they don't really have a single song that I don't like. And on top of that, the poignant lyrics, the haunting melodies, the heartache that Gary Lightbody bleeds into his songwriting, memories of the moment when I first heard the song or an important event that is somehow tied to the music; all those things just pull me in and rip into my soul. Obviously, I think "Chasing Cars" is one of their best songs, especially considering that it was that first song that tuned me in to their awesomeness. But they really have so many that I love.



Other favorites include "Run" (click above to listen........featuring the lyrics "Light up, light up/As if you have a choice/Even if you cannot hear my voice/I'll be right beside you dear"), "You're All That I Have" (featuring the lyrics "You're cinematic, razor sharp/A welcome arrow through the heart" and "There is a darkness deep in you/A frightening magic I cling to"), as well as "Tiny Little Fractures" (featuring the lyrics "If I've forgotten what to say/It's because all words are dust"). As another plus, I'm always a fan of unique song titles. My favorite along this line is "Get Balsamic Vinegar....Quick, You Fool!" I mean, really. What does that mean?

Undeniably, the power of music is amazing. Even when a song may not apply directly to me or my life, it can still grab hold of me and just make me feel...something! Sometimes it's good to have those feelings stimulated, even just for those three minutes the song plays, and even if the emotions aren't really yours. Sometimes it's good to be reminded to feel. There is something that I can't quite explain about the power of music. How a certain song can evoke a particular image in my mind or elicit an extraordinary response. I can't even really explain why my favorite song is my favorite (click below), other than the fact that it makes me think about who I am, who I once was, and who I want to be ("I'm good for inspiration, aren't I?"). How often are we lucky enough to be reminded to think of such things? And for that, I thank my favorite band.

BOOK REVIEW: "Men to Match My Mountains"

Men to Match My Mountains

By Irving Stone

Copyright 1956

Castle Books Publishing

(republish arranged by Doubleday Publishing)

Biographical Novel

5 Bookmarks

Well I have to say that when my 86-year-old grandfather-in-law (husband's grandfather) recommended this book to me, I was a little hesitant. As a matter of fact (and I hate to admit this), I kind of put off reading it for awhile. After all, I don't usually like biographies that much. And really, I'm not much of a history buff either. But, I thought, I may as well learn something about this part of the country that I call home. So finally after reading my latest frou-frou fiction, I picked it up and started reading. And then I couldn't stop.

Men to Match My Mountains was an absolutely fascinating summary of the settling of "the Far West", as it is often known. California, Nevada, Utah and of course, Colorado, are all included in this amazing story of amazing people who did absolutely amazing things to make their way across the mountains, toward the coast and toward the gold. I am not a person who could sit down and read book after book after book about the 49ers, the Donner Party, the Mormons, the railroad barons, the mountain men, the roughnecks and the few women who braved the west. But having it summarized the way that it is in this book was just perfect for someone who has a slight interest in the topic, enjoys some awesome anecdotes, and wants to feel just a little bit smarter after a few good days reading.

I will admit the book was long (nearly 450 pages) and it took me awhile to finish. But it was jam-packed with unbelievable stories taken from the journal pages of those who lived it, as well as from 150-year-old newspapers, books, pamphlets and other sources.

Much of this story was incredibly interesting to me on a personal level. There was a great deal of information about the settling of my beloved state of Colorado, including the initial silver finds, the Cripple Creek mines (very near to my home!), streams, rivers and mountains that I am very familiar with, as well as the settling of Pueblo, Colorado Springs and Denver. There was also a vast amount of information detailing the initial settling of Utah by the Mormons, some of which were ancestors of mine.

There were so many great stories in this book that there is just no way that I could at all do it justice by picking just one or two to share. Instead, I just want to strongly recommend that you do yourself a favor, check this book out of your local library and learn a little something about how this country used to work. And how the people of this country used to work for every little thing they had. Strong, strong recommendation for this one, even for those of you who don't think you're that into history. Thanks for recommending it to me, Edwin!

BOOK REVIEW: "The Tailor's Daughter"

The Tailor's Daughter

By Janice Graham

Copyright 2006

St. Martins Press

Adult Fiction

4 Bookmarks

I love Victorian novels and here is another one that I rather enjoyed. The Tailor's Daughter tells the story of young Veda Grenfell, the daughter of a prominent London tailor. Veda is raised, as all young women of Victorian society are, to believe she will grow up and marry a man of her class and live happily ever after. Veda's life is thrown into turmoil when she loses her hearing due to a fever at the age of 16, rendering her unmarriageable according to society standards.

Throwing herself into her family's tailoring business, Veda impresses a great many people around her and opens up some life possibilities. However, what she really wants, she cannot have. And that is a tough lesson to learn. After all, what Victorian novel would be complete without a little unrequited love?

The Tailor's Daughter is loaded with plenty of tragedy and heartache, as well as deception and intrigue, but still manages to warm the soul with love and ardor in abundance. The characters are interesting and the story does (eventually) have a somewhat happy ending, which I always appreciate. I would recommend this one if you also like Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters.

BOOK REVIEW: "Closing Costs"

Closing Costs

By Seth Margolis

Copyright 2006

St. Martins Press

Adult Fiction

3 Bookmarks

In my "real" life, I'm a Realtor. And so when I'm choosing which novel to snatch up off the library shelf and I see a real estate phrase like Closing Costs in a book title, I'm immediately intrigued. I thought perhaps this would be a book highlighting all the wonderful things about my chosen profession. But then again, perhaps not.

In reality, Closing Costs is a novel about several Manhattan area citizens who are dealing with real estate concerns: the older couple looking to downsize, the younger couple with new baby twins who are overflowing their rent-controlled one bedroom studio, the superbly rich socialite whose husband flees the country after he's accused of embezzlement leaving her homeless after the feds seize her mansion, etc. And what do all these fine folks have in common? One hardcore illustrious real estate legend named Lucinda Wells.

Lucinda wafts into and out of the lives of the characters in this book with a sneer down her nose and an air of indifference at their situation, and yet somehow manages to completely influence the decisions of those she comes in contact with.

These, and many other characters within the pages of this book make it an interesting read. The story jumps from one set of people in fine circumstance to another. Some characters were definitely more believable than others, but the story kept me interested and reading along. Not the best book I've ever read, but not the worst either. Sort of a middle of the road read here.

BOOK REVIEW: On The Road

On The Road
(The Original Scroll)
By Jack Kerouac
Viking Penguin Publishing
Copyright 2007
Autobiographical Novel
2.5 Bookmarks

The concept behind this book intrigued me. I had not read the book On The Road previously, but I had heard of it. I knew it was a story about seizing the moment, living life to the fullest, never missing out on an adventure, etc., etc. Apparently, the edited and published version included changed names and read more like a fictional novel (at least that's what I gathered from the "Forward" in the book).

So this version, The Original Scroll, reads like a diary and includes the actual names of the character involved. It is written almost as one long train of thought exercise by the author; describing people, places and feelings with heart before rapidly switching to a new story.

Now on to the actual story: Kerouac describes a variety of cross-country trips he took over the period of several years in his life. For some reason, Kerouac is fascinated by a certain friend of his, and makes several of these random trips for the sole purpose of finding "Neal." Neal is an interesting character. He is someone your mother has warned you about. He is into just about every single despicable vice known to man (and a few others thrown in for good measure). Not only that, but he seems to be actually crazy. And yet Jack seeks him out like someone seeks out their next drug high. He hitchhikes, nearly starves, begs his mother for money, etc., just to follow some strange quest to "meet up with Neal." Oddly enough, in reading the book, I never quite figured out what magical power Neal had that kept Jack on the hook.

Things I liked: The traveling nature of the story (lots of interesting places in interesting times), the ability of the reader to develop an accurate picture of the characters, and the "Seize the Day!" mentality of the book. Things I didn't like: The rampant drug use (among a variety of other illegal activities), the missing chunks of time within the story, and the despicable behavior of the characters that was treated as "normal" by the author (including the abandonment of several wives along the way).

I may someday read the actual published version of On The Road, just to have the comparison. But for right now, I think I may be a little Kerouac'ed out.

BOOK REVIEW: "O the Clear Moment"

O the Clear Moment
By Ed McClanahan
Counterpoint Press
Copyright 2008
Short Story Collection
2.5 Bookmarks

In this short and quick read, Ed McClanahan shares some of his favorite coming-of-age moments (true or fiction? I was never quite certain). From puppy love to iconic foundations to best frenemies (before the term was even coined), McClanahan delivers a witty and fun view of "how things were". The author also never hesitates to throw in a shameless, shameless plug of his novel "The Natural Man", which is mentioned on numerous occasions in this 183-page collection of short stories. If it wasn't so completely amusing, I would have been irritated by the repeated mention of the novel, but McClanahan keeps it so lighthearted that you can't help but chuckle a little at his audacity.

One of my favorite bits in the collection was "Great Moments in Sports", a story about the author as a youngster vying for the attention of a fair lady by lobbing a hand-grenade of an egg at some rival lads. The ensuing splatter of sticky egginess was deserving of it's own story, even if it didn't quite result in the hoped-for admiration of the lady in question. Another great story was "Dog Loves Ellie", about a man in his late 50s who attends a class reunion and sadly attempts to woo his high school love in a profound state of drunkenness, and the author (and hero of the story) coming to the rescue of the said high school love who also happened to be somewhat of a secret crush of the past for the hero.

I definitely love a good coming-of-age story, and there were definitely some chuckle-worthy moments here, but the shameless pluggery of the author's novel knocked it down a notch on the loveability factor. I would recommend this for a quick read only if you have nothing better to do.

COMMENTARY: "Going Home"

There’s something so surreal about going home. I don’t mean going home from work at the end of the day. I mean going back to the place you spent your childhood: the “old” home. A few weeks ago, I did just that.

Technically speaking, the home I grew up in no longer exists. My dad built a house that the family moved into less than a year before I moved out for good. He still lives in that house, but the actual home that held most of my childhood memories is no more. Which, believe me, is a good thing.

So when I say “home” I really mean the small town in southern Idaho where I grew up. The town with two stoplights (although I do remember a time when there was only one). The town that boasted no chain restaurants during most of my childhood (I’m glad that Subway has finally found a home there, though). And the town with the hometown newspaper where I learned how to work for a living.

(And technically-speaking yet again, I’m not really from that town. Rather, I’m from a small farming community eight or ten miles from that town, but since it was the nearest outpost of civilization, in my mind, that town is “home” by default.)

It still shocks me sometimes how it is that I lived for the first 19 years of my life with no big-city amenities. Frankly, I like that I can walk from the house I live in now to the grocery store, the ice cream parlor and the city library. I like that I can go to the movies at the drop of a hat without having to plan for the 30-minute drive to the theater the next town over. I like that if my house caught on fire while I was out of town, my neighbors live close enough to see the smoke and call the police.

The reality, though, is that when I’m in that little town, it isn’t the amenities that come to mind; it’s the memories. Memories of a different time. Driving through this little town brings back those moments that I spent with the people who were so important to me at the time. Some of those memories are happy and some are sad, but either way, they’re unavoidable.

Wait. Let me back up. Maybe that’s too simplistic a view.

I’ve contemplated over the years why I become so weird whenever I visit “home”. It’s like I become a totally different person: emotionally insecure, scared, submissive. Being around my family, my old haunts, passing by the houses of people I knew so well but now haven’t spoken to in many a year…it can be somewhat disconcerting. I think I somehow forget that I’m an adult and I live in a different world now, with different friends, different relationships. But somehow, just being there, I get sucked into the nostalgia of it all. When I’m driving through that little town, I can remember vividly the trepidation I felt when I started 9th grade at the junior high school…my first day of school after eight years of homeschooling. I can remember my heart pounding with fear while walking through that cemetery in the middle of the night searching for a certain headstone. I can remember exactly how I felt the first time a boyfriend broke up with me, the moment I found out my best friend had been in a terrible car accident, or the year and a half I spent watching my mother die of cancer. Those moments in my memory give everything a sense of the surreal when I’m “back home”.

In real life, those pains are easier to forget, the memories fade into obscurity. But when I “go home”, they seem more immediate, more apparent. Those that I’ve lost, whether by death or by distance, become people to grieve again. Events that occurred, choices that were made…those things become painfully immediate in my psyche again. And so, it seems, for a short period of time during my visit, I become that same scared little girl I was when I lived there.

They joke here in Colorado that because there are so few people who live here who were actually born here, you can call yourself a native after you’ve lived here 10 years. I like the idea of that. Kind of like an adopted hometown.

So while I enjoyed visiting with the family that I only get to see once a year and doing the other things that I can only experience in that little town in southern Idaho, I am grateful to now be “back home” to my real home; the only home I now truly call home.

BOOK REVIEW: "The Last Blue Mile"

The Last Blue Mile

By Kim Ponders

Copyright 2007

HarperCollins Publishers

Adult Fiction

2 Bookmarks

I picked up this book because it was about the Air Force Academy, something I'm vaguely familiar with as it is located directly north of my house. I usually really enjoy books that include anything Colorado Springs, for obvious reasons. I was kind of surprised, however, by the topic and tone of this book.

The Last Blue Mile covers a period of time in the "incarceration" of cadet Brook Searcy at the Air Force Academy. The ritual, the hazing, the unpleasant nature of the story, was just a little bit discomforting. Although other scandals that had actually occurred at the Academy are mentioned, the main story begins with a cheating scandal and how the Academy is forced to deal (less-than-fairly) with the female instigator of the cheating, simply because she is female and because the Academy is still recovering from a rape scandal still fresh in everyone's memory. Brook is a bystander to this, but has her own demons that she has to face.

The story also focuses on General John Waller, the Commandant of Cadets at the Academy.....the one who has to put a good face on everything for us out in the "real world". The Commandant is forced to see things at this mostly-male military institution from a female perspective and I, even as a female myself, felt like he was placed in a terrible position between a rock and hard place regarding the decisions he is forced to make.

The story switches back and forth between these two main storylines, with a few others thrown in for good measure. But then something happens to Brook that made me want to stop reading the story entirely. Suddenly it was as if none of the rest of the story mattered except this new "event" that occurs, throwing the reader back to the rape scandal of previous years.

I didn't like the "ick" factor in the book and I didn't like that the book was really about something that I didn't think it would be about. Just discomforting. Probably would not recommend.

BOOK REVIEW: "More Than This"

More Than This

By Margo Candela

Copyright 2008

Touchstone/Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Adult Fiction

3 Bookmarks

Spoiler Alert!

Okay. I just have to say it. I loved reading this book. Well, at least up until the last chapter. More Than This is such a wonderfully indulgent, fairy tale read that I really just didn't want to put it down.

Evelyn and Alex have never met. But they keep "almost" meeting. A glance across a crowded train. Watching each other through the windows of their office buildings conveniently located across the street from each other. Odd circumstances and coincidences that keep them apart when they would be oh so perfect for each other! The story gets deeper and deeper and you just get sucked into this world where they both want what they see but can't seem to ever grab it....even though it's right there in front of them. I really enjoyed reading about these two people who have been disappointed by life, struggling to find meaning and purpose. Hilarious moments, especially for the Evelyn character when she takes on a "temp" job at her friend's company, and an ironic career position for Alex; two mothers with bright expectations for their adult children; and many other highly entertaining plot lines and characters.

But.......I'm just gonna say it. They don't EVER meet! Well, at least not in the book (I sort of imagined how it must have gone when I finished reading, but isn't that the author's job?) Yes, that's right. The author's last prosaic effort is the two characters explaining (in turn) what they felt and did in the moment BEFORE they meet. But, of course, as disappointingly disappointing authors always do.....she leaves the best part OUT OF THE STORY!!!!! I turned the page? Nothing. Nothing! So disappointing.

This book would have garnered at least 4 bookmarks if only the author had given me even ONE page of what it was like for these two perfect-for-each-other characters to get together.

Such an utter disappointment (......still worth the read, unfortunately. It really was a good book, so I can't totally dog it.)

BOOK REVIEW: "My Sister's Keeper"

my sister's keeper

By Jodi Picoult

Published by Washington Square Press

Copyright 2004

Adult Fiction

4 Bookmarks

Okay, so probably everyone already knows what this one is about because you've all seen the previews for the made-for-the-big-screen movie, so I'll keep my summary short. Young parents find out their very young daughter has leukemia. Brother is not a match for a bone marrow transplant, so parents go to a genetic specialist and conceive a "donor" sibling.....a perfect match with the genetic markers required to be a good donor. Flash forward to the young parents, now the parents of three teenagers, including middle child still suffering recurring bouts of leukemia, and youngest daughter who has undergone numerous medical procedures over the years to keep her sister alive.

But now, all of a sudden, young Anna has had enough. She is ready to call it quits. She doesn't want to be a donor anymore.....and hires a lawyer to make sure she doesn't have to.

In case you haven't seen the movie (or haven't read past the first two chapters of the book), I won't be a spoilsport and tell you the rest of the story or how it ends. But here are my thoughts:

This was a scary book to read. As a parent, it is my worst nightmare to be in the situation these poor parents found themselves in. There were many times while reading it that I had to just put it down for awhile because I couldn't stop the tears. However, it was an extremely well-told story and I felt like Picoult did an outstanding job of really digging in to the lose-lose situation that this family found themselves in. I did feel some sense of an "ick" factor in the book, just simply because the topic is so utterly controversial and unsolveable. With this situation, there was really no good outcome possible.

I usually avoid any cancer-themed books and I did know the premise before I started reading it, but I figured if it was good enough to make into a movie, it was probably a pretty dang good book and worth the emotional thrashing! And it was. "My Sister's Keeper" truly was a heart-wrenching story, but I came out of it with hugs for my family and appreciation for what I have.

I don't think I'll see the movie, though. The emotions in the book were raw enough and I wouldn't want to spoil it by having it simplified into a two-hour retelling.

BOOK REVIEW: "Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict"

Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict

By Laurie Viera Rigler

Copyright 2007

Dutton/Penguin Books Ltd.

Adult Fiction

3.5 Bookmarks

I know, I know, you're getting sick of me reading books with "Jane Austen" in the title. It's an addiction, I swear. I love love love all things Jane Austen (and, to be quite honest, all things Bronte as well). So whenever I see a novel that mentions Jane Austen by name, I always snatch it up.

Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict had a great, although not all that original, premise. What happens when a lover of all things Austen wakes up in Mansfield Park? Is it a dream? She pinches herself to be sure, feels the pinch but still doesn't awaken. Now what? Courtney Stone is stuck. Stuck in world which she has always loved but never visited before, but now she can't get out.

Courtney stumbles through the rituals put upon her by pre-Victorian society as she contemplates her new-found circumstances. The uncomfortable attire, the formal language, and the role of a single woman in this place are all new to Courtney. There are some really funny moments in the book involving blood-letting, chamber pots and "the vapors". It was a fun read!

Even though I really enjoyed the book I'm only giving it 3.5 bookmarks because of the lack of originality. The author "borrows" so many storylines from actual Austen novels that it leaves you questioning her creativity. It seemed like every other page I was saying to myself, "oh yeah, I remember that from 'Pride and Prejudice'", or something along those lines. I'm all for not reinventing the wheel when it comes to many things in life, but novel-writing is not one of them.

BOOK REVIEW: "The Rescue"

The Rescue

By Nicholas Sparks

Copyright 2000

Warner Books, Inc.

Adult Fiction

3.5 Bookmarks

Everybody's favorite author and screen-writer seems to be appearing all over the place these days. With The Notebook firmly under his belt (among others) and now The Last Song out in theaters, Nicholas Sparks is going to be a permanent fixture in American pop culture. So whenever I see a new (to me) Sparks book on the shelf, I try to grab it. The formula Sparks uses for his novels doesn't really change all that much, but I always feel like any book of his is a satisfying read.

The Rescue is no different. Denise Holton, single mother of a unique child, is inconsolable when her young son goes missing after an accident. Found soon after by firefighter Taylor McAden, the three form a special bond and thus begins the story of The Rescue. While Denise struggles with the challenges of motherhood, living in a new town, and her new relationship with a man who keeps protective walls solidly in place around him, the story moves forward toward what we know will be a dramatic ending.

With sad moments, happy times shared and a final realization for McAden, The Rescue doesn't disappoint Sparks fans. Many romantic moments dot the landscape of this novel. One of my favorites being the simple moment when McAden whispers to Denise, "You're perfect".

I enjoyed reading this book (as I always do with Sparks novels), but there were a few moments that were just nearly too sad to bear. When an author is really good and getting his reader's emotionally involved, you can almost feel the pain of the characters and sometimes it's just a bit much. But if you have a strong heart, take some time to find a good Sparks novel and let yourself sink in.

BOOK REVIEW: "The Art of Racing in the Rain"

The Art of Racing in the Rain
By Garth Stein
Copyright 2008
HarperCollins Publishers
Adult Fiction
5 Bookmarks
Exceptional!

Okay, let me just start out by saying that this is THE best book that I have read in a very, very long time. If you are looking for a great bookclub book, this is it. If you are looking for a great feel-good book, this is it. If you are looking for a story that will tug at your heartstrings, this is it. If you are looking for a book that will make you look at life differently, guess what? This is it.

That last one is the most important to me, as a reader. I like books that make me think and make me step back and look at my life from a different perspective. The Art of Racing in the Rain was the right book to accomplish that.

The author, Garth Stein, is obviously a dog person. You know, one of those people who view their dog as an equal member of the family. And thus we meet Enzo, the main character and narrator of the novel. Enzo introduces himself by explaining to us mere humans why he behaves as he does. The book begins with, "Gestures are all that I have; sometimes they must be grand in nature." Enzo goes on to explain that he feels somewhat trapped in his life as a dog and hopes to one day die and come back as a human. Enzo becomes almost human to the reader from the very first page of the book. He becomes a friend, a neighbor, the watchful eye that sees all. I am not a dog person (not a dog person AT ALL, actually), but even I could truly appreciate the role that Enzo fills in this novel.

But this story is not really about Enzo. It's about a man, Denny Swift, semi-professional race car driver, his wife Eve, and their daughter Zoe. It's about Enzo's relationship with this family. It's about what happens when life takes an unexpected turn, and then another, and then another. It's about how we survive as human beings when the worst imaginable things come flying at us from nowhere.

A simple philosophy that Denny shares with Enzo early on rings true through much of the book. "That which we manifest is before us; we are the creators of our own destiny." It is through this simple philosophy that, somehow, Denny survives the rain that life pours down upon him. He takes the turns with a gentle hand and slides back into the race.

This book will make you laugh and it will make you cry. It will make you angry and it will make you feel love. It is poignant and profound, and yet the subtle way Stein weaves the emotion in and out of the story seems simple and natural.

This was a truly good read, and a book that I highly recommend you add to your reading list!

COMMENTARY: Grief and Sadness

Sad things happen on my birthday. 15 years ago, my mother died. 10 years ago, my first baby died. Those are the two major events, but not the only ones. I don’t tell you this to make you feel sorry for me. I do not want nor need your sympathy.

I suppose I just need an outlet for the grief that remains behind. And so, every year I take a few minutes on that day to reflect on that grief and sadness. A few minutes spent one day a year alone with the memories of what used to be and what might have been. I don’t know if this is a healthy way of handling it or not, but so far relegating my grief to one specific day has worked for me. And since God (with his inimitable sense of humor) has granted most of these grievous events to occur on that day, He makes it easy.

Grief has a funny way of changing a person, making her look at life differently, to appreciate things in ways she may not have before. I may be sad, but I am stronger for the pain. I am more aware of the world around me. I know that I am alive, that I am breathing air. There is nothing worse than being numb, deadened by the inability to accept the terrible things that life throws at us. Not knowing which way is up or down. The grief process is simple: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Each of us works our way through these stages in different ways. It’s been many years, and I have long been in the “Acceptance” phase, but that does not mean that I don’t still feel the pain. Because I do.

One of the worst things that happens when someone you love dies, is not being able to say goodbye. People talk about whether it’s better to know they’re going to die so you can have the chance to say goodbye, or if it’s better to not know ahead of time so you don’t have to dread it happening. Personally, when the Big Guy in Charge decides we don’t get a chance to say goodbye, I think it’s just... unnecessarily cruel. How good it would be if only we were able to say those final words, to say “I will love you always”, or “I’m so very, very sorry”, or whatever else needs to be said in order to truly have closure, instead of the regret of not being able to say a word.

Sometimes in the dark moments of grief, when all our hope is gone, we need to try to find something to hold on to. Saying goodbye is painful at best. Knowing it will be the last goodbye is heart-rending. Knowing you don’t get to say goodbye is...tragic. Having a goodbye to hold on to is worth the world.

But sometimes He decides for us. It is out of our control. Of course, if God were as omnipotent as religious folks will tell you, couldn't He just break the rules of the universe to allow that one last goodbye?

Death is cruel. The finality of it is almost incomprehensible. I wish it was easy to let go of the sorrow and pain. But it simply isn’t. And yet somehow we must take a deep breath and move forward with our lives. We hope the crutch of grief will get smaller and smaller each day, and it does to an extent. It just takes a long, long time. And it never truly goes away. So I give myself this day to cry, for all of us who have lost someone--mothers, fathers, children, a soulmate or best friend. Their losses are unquantifiable. And so I will spend my few minutes alone today, thinking of what I have lost.

COMMENTARY: Frankie Say Relax

I hate the word "uptight". Especially when it's used to describe me. I don't generally consider myself to be uptight. I'm just "driven", "steady", "assertive", and "cautious". And, okay, maybe a little bit OCD.

I admit it. I like everything to fit. I like all the pieces of the puzzle to be in place. I'm a woman with a plan and I'm not afraid to use it!

Nothing can cause me to go into a panic quite so much as someone calling and wanting to (*gasp*) "go do something" at the last minute. I eat the same thing for lunch nearly every day simply because I don't want the pressure of deciding on something new. Spontaneity and I don't get along so well. Patheti-sad, I know. But I am what I am and I'm kind of used to it.

The problem that I'm finding with this is that life can't be planned. At least not to the level I want it to be.

First of all, I'm a parent. Having a child forces one to accept the reality that life goes where it wants to go. The constant bouncing around of reality when you have a child always throws me for a loop. I go left, she goes right. I stop short and she keeps right on trucking. She's like the Energizer Bunny and I find that sometimes I just can't keep up. Maybe I'm just getting old.

Add to that a high-stress career, adorning myself with the moniker of "student", keeping my "happily married" status firmly in place, and attempting to keep a tight grip on household management, well....it's a recipe for rigidity. To keep all the cogs in this wheel running smoothly, I write a To-Do list, but then I end up only accomplishing 3 of the 10 things on it. So the remaining 7 get bumped to the next day and add to the challenges of THAT day. I try to remember that's "just life", to "take it as it comes", and "it is what it is. But it's hard to do that for a person who is so upti....I mean, "steady and cautious".

Result? STRESS. So what's a girl to do?

Frankie says RELAX. But that's easier said than done for someone of my fortitude (or lack thereof). I'd like to think I give a valiant effort at doing what a person is supposed to do in this situation. Yoga. Meditation. Deep breathing. I also have been known to drop a few bucks for a good massage (love Kyle!) But it's not enough. How can I just find that moment of peace that I need? That break from this vicious cycle of stress?

When I was a teenager, my mother used to tell me to "chill". I used to get so angry that she would use such a cliched phrase to try to get me to think something earth-shattering in my life was less than important. But maybe she was onto something. Maybe all these things that are earth-shattering in my mind really aren't? I'm pretty sure my dear husband would agree. Sometimes I wonder how he puts up with my constant elevating of all things to a Code Red level of urgency and catastrophe.

A wise man once told me, "It isn't brain surgery. No one is going to die if this gets screwed up." But for some reason, I have a hard time taking that to heart.

I want to let go of the stress. I want to just relax. I don't want to feel like the outcome of a particular action of mine is going to result in a nuclear holocaust. I don't want to feel like I have to picture the poor guy who has his brain splayed open on a surgical table just to make myself feel better.

So instead, I do the best I can. I plan to my little heart's content. I take frequent deep breaths. I take a ME vacation away from it all. I have luxurious hours with my buddy Kyle's hands. And I occasionally throw in a glass or two of wine. And I take that little word "uptight" and throw it down on the floor in front of me and give it a good stomping. Whew! Now I can relax.

BOOK REVIEW: "Everything I Long For"

Everything I Long For

By Melody Carlson

Copyright 2000

Harvest House Publishers

Adult Fiction

3.5 Bookmarks

"Everything I Long For" is a slice in the life of Maggie Carpenter who has fled the hustle, bustle and stress of the city for new possibilities in the small town of Pine Mountain. As Maggie makes a world for herself and her son Spencer, a new kink is thrown into the mix when they discover a runaway hiding out in the woods behind their home.

After Maggie uncovers the reason why Leah is in Pine Mountain, she begins a search to help the girl find her real father. Meanwhile, Maggie struggles with juggling the affections of two men in her life, as well as the challenges of being in the sandwich generation (having a son to care for, and an aging parent to care for as well). Maggie's uncertainty about the decisions she makes are very true-to-life. I liked that I could relate to her insecurities and the difficulties she faced with the decisions that were in front of her. Being in a new place and making new friends is hard for anyone, though many would be hesitant to ever admit it. It was easy to place myself in her position and feel what the character was going through.

"Everything I Long For" was a quick and easy feel-good read. If I had one complaint it would be that the author seemed to do a little too much "explaining" about why things were happening. It gave the book almost a little too much of a simplistic feel because of that. But all-in-all, I enjoyed the book and read the entire thing in just a couple hours.

BOOK REVIEW: "The Scroll of Seduction"

The Scroll of Seduction

By Gioconda Belli

Copyright 2006

HarperCollins Publishing

Adult Fiction

2 Bookmarks

I picked up this book because it was supposed to be an historical fiction-type read, with main character, Manuel, sharing his knowledge of a historical Spanish queen with a willing pupil. While I did appreciate the historical nature of the story of Queen Juana, the story soon became a little too, ummmm...., statutory for my taste. When Manuel seduces his 17-year-old student, you just know things are not going to end well.

The story of "Juana the Mad", was interesting in a lot of ways, though. Based on historical accounts of the love-obsessed queen, "The Scroll of Seduction" takes you on a journey with a young girl off to meet her betrothed. She considers herself lucky when she immediately falls desperately in love with him. But she soon becomes wracked with jealousy when things turn sour. When Juana's love falls victim to illness, she never quite recovers and those who wish to rule the dynasty that was, in large part, created by her, use her passion and pain as an excuse to hold her captive and leave her helpless in her own kingdom.

But the side plot was, in many ways, quite disturbing. Manuel is a little loony, if you ask me. He wants his student to do some crazy things while he's telling her Juana's story. And, shockingly, she does them. And then one thing leads to another and... yada yada yada.

Sometimes when I read these stories written in another language and translated to English, I am pleasantly surprised at the unique way the story unfolds. This book, however, left something to be desired. In addition to the story having a decided "ick" factor, the way the book ended was off. Like the author didn't know how to resolve everything so she just lit a match.

Don't think I would recommend this one.

BOOK REVIEW: "Heart of Darkness"

Heart of Darkness

By Joseph Conrad

Copyright 1902

William Blackwood & Sons Publishers

Classic Literature

3 1/2 Bookmarks

When I was in high school, "Heart of Darkness" was on a required reading list for Mrs. Brown's AP English class. At the time, it affected my 17-year-old psyche in ways that not many other things have (either before or since). The theme of the book revolves around the idea of restraint. An old river captain named Marlow tells a tale about a trip to find an elusive ivory agent named Kurtz. Everyone seems to know Kurtz and paints a picture of his grandeur for the narrator. Marlow cannot wait to meet Kurtz, to discuss philosophy and swap tales of adventure. Marlow's description of the events that occur along his journey are intriguing and disturbing, especially when he finally does come upon Kurtz only to discover that he is not the man Marlow had been led to believe.

This novel speaks volumes about how people in society make the choice to be "normal" or not, to follow societal norms or to step outside those boundaries to boost their own rank among the masses. Choosing a right or a wrong becomes more difficult when faced with the prospect of hero worship and adoration.

I did like the book, although it didn't seem quite as entertaining to me as an adult as it did to my 17-year-old mind back in the day. Conrad does throw in some great quotes. My favorite--now, as it was back then, is-- "Droll thing life is--that mysterious arrangement of merciless logic for a futile purpose." Seriously! What a great quote! Soooooo, to sum up: Good book, great wording, quotable quotes, freaky story, and you get to say you read a classic. All plusses. Hmmmm....I wonder what ever happened to Mrs. Brown?

BOOK REVIEW: "What to Keep"

What to Keep

By Rachel Cline

Copyright 2004

Random House Publishing

Adult Fiction

4 Bookmarks

"What to Keep" by Rachel Cline is an enjoyable novel about Denny Roman. Most of the story is set when Denny is a young girl dealing with the foibles of being a pre-teen, having divorced parents, and a special adult friend named Maureen who also happens to be what we consider today to be a "household manager" for Denny's parents. Denny bonds with Maureen, mostly because Maureen actually looks at her and considers her to be real. Denny's own mother is absorbed in her work and herself and often forgets she even has a child. As Denny grows up, the story almost becomes more her mother's story; why she is the way she is, why she reacts to Denny the way she does, and how that affects her later in life.

The story then jumps to Denny as a young adult, finding her way in the world as an aspiring actress, she gets a phone call to come home and decide "what to keep" when her mother and her new husband decide to move away from the only home Denny has ever known as home. This part of the story was especially interesting to me, although I didn't feel like the author really fleshed it out as much as she could have. This trip back home almost reminded me of the movie Garden State, in the way Denny viewed the items from her childhood, and even her old childhood haunts. There were a few parts of the story that I really didn't feel were necessary (like a completely weird and bizarre kiss between Denny and her mother's new husband), but for the most part, I felt like this part of the story was meant to make the reader look at their own life and think about what we would keep if we were in her situation.

The final segment of the story brings us to a fully adult Denny in her mid-30s, single and a playwright living in New York, when a blast from the past shows up on her door. Denny has to make an important decision (What to keep?) yet again, and this time, for the first time in her life, her mother steps up and makes the right choice in giving to her daughter in a way she never has before in their entire relationship together.

This was really an enjoyable book. It would be great for a bookclub or, really, for anyone interested in a mild introspective about life. Cline does a good job of creating characters that are believable and, even in their darkest hours, likeable. 4 bookmarks from me for this one!

RECIPE: Red Velvet Cake

Waldorf-Astoria Red Velvet Cake

(Grandma Carter's recipe!)

Cake:
1/2 C. shortening
1 1/2 C. sugar*
2 eggs*
1 tsp. vanilla
1 oz. red food coloring
2 level Tbsp. cocoa
1 tsp. salt
2 C. flour
1 C. buttermilk
1 tsp. soda
1 Tbsp. vinegar

Cream together shortening and sugar. Add eggs and vanilla. Beat together, then fold in food coloring. Sift together salt, flour and cocoa. Add to mixture with buttermilk. Beat on low until smooth. In small bowl, mix soda and vinegar. Froth and stir until dissolved. Fold into mixture. Do NOT beat! Pour into greased and floured pan(s) and bake at 375 degrees for 20-30 minutes until toothpick comes out clean. Cool cake completely before frosting.

*High Altitude: Reduce sugar by 2 tablespoons and add an additional egg.

Frosting:
1 1/2 C. milk
3/8 C. flour
pinch of salt
1 1/2 C. sugar
3/4 C. shortening
1 1/2 sticks of butter--softened
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla

Mix together shortening and sugar and chill for 30 minutes. Cook flour, salt and milk in small saucepan, stirring constantly until thick and uniform. Cool quickly, stirring frequently while cooling. While cooling, add butter and vanilla to shortening mixture and mix on high until fluffy. Once milk mixture is COMPLETELY cool, blend together with shortening mixture. Mix on high for two minutes. Frost a completely cool cake. If cake will not be served within 24 hours, store in airtight container in refrigerator.